I hope I never lose my sense of wonder. If that makes me naive, then so be it.

Friday, 3 September 2010


"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" - Satchel Paige

Today I am forty years old. I spent the earlier part of this year dreading it, feeling the inevitable approach, wanting to hide from it but knowing it was futility. It sounded like the end of being carefree, the start of careworn. The end of fun. The start of being drab. But then over the last month or so, I realized a few things.

I am more fit and in better shape at 40 than I was at 30.
I am more confident at 40 than I was at 30. Or 20.
I have blessings beyond count at 40, some of which I did not have at any other age.
I have wisdom at 40 that I did not have at 33. Some of it hurt to acquire, but I've got it.
I have a musical ability and confidence that I did not have five, ten, fifteen, years ago.
I have a better sense of who I am at 40 than I did at 15, at 20, at 25.
I have am amazing husband who insists that I am, in his words, "smokin' hawt". And he says I'm getting better.
I have three wonderful girls who seem to think I'm pretty cool. R insisted on buying a dogtag that said 'fabulous' for me to wear yesterday, since she said I am.
I know at 40 that God's got amazing things in store for me.

The dread of turning 40 started to get buried under the realization that, really, what I make of it is what counts. So last night as I watched the clock change and entered my next decade, I said aloud, "Forty. Ha," and smiled.

I plan to make it fabulous.

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