I hope I never lose my sense of wonder. If that makes me naive, then so be it.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

most wonderful time

We're settling into the week before Christmas.

The tree, fetched from a nearby farm, is up and decorated, warming the living room with its lights each night. Almost all gifts are bought and wrapped, peeking from underneath the tree. Baking is in the freezer, with more to follow over the next few days.

Christmas dinner for about 15 is planned and most of the food bought. Dickens's A Christmas Carol has been read, smiled at, enjoyed again. Last Sunday's service at church went well, and will repeat for the Christmas Eve service. Hosting a party for the band tomorrow night.

This year will have its familiarities, and new memories waiting to be made. But yesterday, I had a moment. That sounds momentous, but I did indeed have one.

I rarely (okay, never) regret the fact that I am a full-time mom. I wouldn't trade the time I enjoy with the girls for anything. It's meant choices, and sacrifice, and D's having a job that allows this is a blessing I never want to take for granted. It also means time as a family. It makes for what can be a very laid-back, relaxed schedule. It gives us flexibility. It's the choice we feel is best for our family. I really do love what I do.

That said, it also means that I make no money. Typically, I've joked about this, my status as leech or parasite. But I stood in Best Buy yesterday and looked at a gift I wanted to buy D. And I have no money of my own. And for one brief moment, I wished for a job so that I could have the option to buy something for the guy who makes it all possible without spending money he earned. I actually cried for a minute. Then R, my wise-souled comforter, did her quiet arm-around-me thing and I remembered that the money I would have had did not replace the beyond monetary things I do have.

God bless us, every one... (Tiny Tim)


Jenn Kelly said...

Oh how I feel the same way, sometimes. I hoard my little bits of change so I can get him something he really wants, not something we can afford from our bank account.
But time... oh time. Nothing can replace that, can it?

futsaldreamer said...


Happy tears.