I hope I never lose my sense of wonder. If that makes me naive, then so be it.

Saturday, 10 January 2009

it's done

She was restless the last two days, or was it just me? She seemed tired and quiet but just kept dragging herself from place to place like she couldn't get comfortable.

D took her to the vet today and it was over very quickly and peacefully. When he got home she looked like she was sleeping.

We buried her in a little spot down by the creek. The sun was shining, the water quietly flowing in the parts of the creek not frozen. R & M preferred to stay at the house, while A wanted to come for the burial. Peaceful. Final.

After we got back I moved all the furniture in the dining room to wash the floor, something it's needed for a while and something I needed to keep busy.

I'm surprised at how hard this is hitting me. I knew it would be hard but not like this. Before she went I felt like a traitor every time I looked at her; now it's just sort of empty and I cry more than I expected I would.

She's not lying on her spot on the rug. Part of me keeps expecting to see her there.

1 comment:

sue said...

I'm not suprised. Maybe you are suprised because you feel like you've been through something much harder before so this shouldn't be that bad. But it doesn't work like that, does it.
I ache for you all.