Beyond

I hope I never lose my sense of wonder. If that makes me naive, then so be it.

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

151

This is my 151st blog. I started in January feeling a little pretentious to be putting my thoughts 'out there', but have really enjoyed getting things down and connecting online. I've also found out a few things.

I like my simple, kind-of-dull and yet fun-in-itself life. I know many women don't have the freedom to do what I do, to stay home and not have to go to a job and bring home a paycheque. I appreciate this part of my life. I don't mind that my job is that of being a wife and a mom. If that was all that defined who I was, it would be enough. There is the musician, the wannabe farmer, the occasional reluctant mini-triathlete, but I am content and pleased to be my husband's wife and my kids' mom. That I get to be that and so much more is a bonus. I hope I never take it for granted.

I can miss someone and still have joy in my life. The missing isn't cheapened by it, but in a way that I can't fathom, it is enriched by the joy. Sad smiles are still smiles, and more poignant ones at that.

For all the crazy things that happen at our farm, I don't want to ever move back to suburbia. The conveniences aren't worth it in my book. We are so much closer to nature here and have become more 'green' than I would have with a disconnect from the reality of the environment. I wouldn't call myself a crusader, but when I see directly how little ecosystems work together and the diversity of life, I get more determined to do my little part. We're sort of accidental organic farmers. Is there such a thing? I think we're becoming it. The thought of spraying stuff on our fields does not appeal when I see the meadowlarks and bobolinks flit around over their nests, when I watch the girls run happily through the grass.

God is good. I overlook it, I forget it. But He stays the same. Thank goodness His constancy isn't dependant upon mine.

I don't think I'll ever do a month of trying to start all my titles with "in" again. Well, maybe. It was kinda fun.

4 comments:

goaliemom said...

Job mentions "my joy in unrelenting pain"... the two can co-exist, as you and I have learned.

Serendipity said...

well, that's good because i can't have you as a city dweller girl. farmgirl works much better.

futsaldreamer said...

I loved the month with "in". And, I love reading your blogs. And, the life you are living is wonderful :)

Heather said...

I love reading what the farm girls are doing. I must admit I get a little envious at times, especially when you have just strolled down to your creek and sat listening to nature for an hour or so!